My 13-year old son Michael (name changed) missed his bus because he was wearing the wrong color pants.
“I can wear these pants,” he said, his tone increasingly belligerent, the black-hole pupils of his eyes swallowing the blue irises.
“They are navy blue,” I told him. “Your school’s dress code says black or khaki pants only.”
“They told me I could wear these,” he insisted. “You’re a stupid bitch. I can wear whatever pants I want to. This is America. I have rights!”
我13歲的兒子麥可(化名)因為穿錯褲子而錯過了學校巴士.
“這些褲子我都可以穿,”他語調越來越氣憤地說,他的眼睛像是有黑洞吞噬了他藍色的瞳孔
“它是海軍藍,”我告訴他.”你的學校規定只能穿黑色或卡其色的褲子.”
“他們跟我說我可以穿,你是一個愚蠢的賤人!我可以穿任何我想穿的褲子.這裡是美國,我有這些權力!”
I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me.
我和我患有精神疾病的兒子住在一起.我愛他,但他讓我充滿恐懼。
A few weeks ago, Michael pulled a knife and threatened to kill me and then himself after I asked him to return his overdue library books. His 7 and 9 year old siblings knew the safety plan -- they ran to the car and locked the doors before I even asked them to. I managed to get the knife from Michael, then methodically collected all the sharp objects in the house into a single Tupperware container that now travels with me. Through it all, he continued to scream insults at me and threaten to kill or hurt me.
幾個禮拜以前,我要麥可歸還他從圖書館借且逾期的書,
他就拿著一把刀威脅我說要殺我然後再自殺。
他七歲和九歲的弟妹知道自保的方法(我曾告訴過他們)—
他們跑向車子並將自己反鎖在車內。
而我設法從麥可那奪回刀子，然後將家裡所有尖銳的物品放在一個容器內並隨身保管。
在這之後，他仍不段地放聲辱罵我及威脅要殺我或傷害我。
我們不曉得麥可到底怎麼了，我試過各種方式、透過各種管道輔助治療，但都沒有效果。
At the start of seventh grade, Michael was accepted to an accelerated program for highly gifted math and science students. His IQ is off the charts. When he’s in a good mood, he will gladly bend your ear on subjects ranging from Greek mythology to the differences between Einsteinian and Newtonian physics to Doctor Who. He’s in a good mood most of the time. But when he’s not, watch out. And it’s impossible to predict what will set him off.
麥可國一的時候，是數學和科學的資優生。
當他心情好時，他會很樂意地跟你談論希臘神話、愛因斯坦和牛頓的物理學以及Dr. Who影集。
他大部份的時候都是好好的，但如果不是，就要小心了！而且，無法預料什麼事會惹到他。
The morning of the pants incident, Michael continued to argue with me on the drive. He would occasionally apologize and seem remorseful. Right before we turned into his school parking lot, he said, “Look, Mom, I’m really sorry. Can I have video games back today?”
“No way,” I told him. “You cannot act the way you acted this morning and think you can get your electronic privileges back that quickly.”
就在褲子事件的早晨，我載麥克去上課的途中他持續跟我抱怨。
他偶爾會看似懊悔地向我道歉.
就在我的車正轉進他學校的停車場時，
他說”媽,妳聽著,我真的很抱歉.回家後我可以玩電動嗎?”
“不行”我對他說. ”你不要以為你今天早上做了那些事,還可以這麼快就能玩到電動.”
His face turned cold, and his eyes were full of calculated rage. “Then I’m going to kill myself,” he said. “I’m going to jump out of this car right now and kill myself.”
That was it. After the knife incident, I told him that if he ever said those words again, I would take him straight to the mental hospital, no ifs, ands, or buts. I did not respond, except to pull the car into the opposite lane, turning left instead of right.
他的表情轉為冷酷，且眼神充滿著熊熊怒火。
”好,我現在就去殺死我自己”他說.
“我現在馬上跳車殺了我自己”
就是那句話。
在刀子事件後我告訴過他，如果他再說那些話一次，我就馬上帶他去精神病院，沒有任何但書。
我沒回應他，但我把車向左迴轉調頭。
“Where are you taking me?” he said, suddenly worried. “Where are we going?”
“You know where we are going,” I replied.
“No! You can’t do that to me! You’re sending me to hell! You’re sending me straight to hell!”
I pulled up in front of the hospital, frantically waiving for one of the clinicians who happened to be standing outside. “Call the police,” I said. “Hurry.”
“你現在是帶我去哪？” “我們現在要去哪?” 他突然擔心了起來
“你知道我們要去哪.”我說.
“不!你不可以那樣對我! 你是要把我送到地獄去! 你是要直接把我打入地獄!”
我停在醫院的門口,猛烈向一位剛好站在那的醫護人員揮手.
“幫我叫警察來,快點!!”
When I asked my son’s social worker about my options, he said that the only thing I could do was to get Michael charged with a crime. “If he’s back in the system, they’ll create a paper trail,” he said. “That’s the only way you’re ever going to get anything done. No one will pay attention to you unless you’ve got charges.”
當我向我兒子的社工人員諮詢時，他說只有一個辦法是讓麥可犯罪。
“當他回到這個體制時，他們會開立一張證明”
“只有那樣你才能得到所有的幫忙. 你不犯法就不會有人注意你.”
(這段我不確定翻得對不對…)
But it seems like the United States is using prison as the solution of choice for mentally ill people.
看來美國將監獄當作一個解決精神病患者的方法.
With state-run treatment centers and hospitals shuttered, prison is now the last resort for the mentally ill
隨著國營治療中心及醫院的關閉,監獄是目前唯一一個能收容精神病患者的地方。
God help me. God help Michael. God help us all.
願上帝幫助我.願上帝幫助麥可.願上帝幫助我們這群人.
“I can wear these pants,” he said, his tone increasingly belligerent, the black-hole pupils of his eyes swallowing the blue irises.
“They are navy blue,” I told him. “Your school’s dress code says black or khaki pants only.”
“They told me I could wear these,” he insisted. “You’re a stupid bitch. I can wear whatever pants I want to. This is America. I have rights!”
我13歲的兒子麥可(化名)因為穿錯褲子而錯過了學校巴士.
“這些褲子我都可以穿,”他語調越來越氣憤地說,他的眼睛像是有黑洞吞噬了他藍色的瞳孔
“它是海軍藍,”我告訴他.”你的學校規定只能穿黑色或卡其色的褲子.”
“他們跟我說我可以穿,你是一個愚蠢的賤人!我可以穿任何我想穿的褲子.這裡是美國,我有這些權力!”
I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me.
我和我患有精神疾病的兒子住在一起.我愛他,但他讓我充滿恐懼。
A few weeks ago, Michael pulled a knife and threatened to kill me and then himself after I asked him to return his overdue library books. His 7 and 9 year old siblings knew the safety plan -- they ran to the car and locked the doors before I even asked them to. I managed to get the knife from Michael, then methodically collected all the sharp objects in the house into a single Tupperware container that now travels with me. Through it all, he continued to scream insults at me and threaten to kill or hurt me.
幾個禮拜以前,我要麥可歸還他從圖書館借且逾期的書,
他就拿著一把刀威脅我說要殺我然後再自殺。
他七歲和九歲的弟妹知道自保的方法(我曾告訴過他們)—
他們跑向車子並將自己反鎖在車內。
而我設法從麥可那奪回刀子，然後將家裡所有尖銳的物品放在一個容器內並隨身保管。
在這之後，他仍不段地放聲辱罵我及威脅要殺我或傷害我。
我們不曉得麥可到底怎麼了，我試過各種方式、透過各種管道輔助治療，但都沒有效果。
At the start of seventh grade, Michael was accepted to an accelerated program for highly gifted math and science students. His IQ is off the charts. When he’s in a good mood, he will gladly bend your ear on subjects ranging from Greek mythology to the differences between Einsteinian and Newtonian physics to Doctor Who. He’s in a good mood most of the time. But when he’s not, watch out. And it’s impossible to predict what will set him off.
麥可國一的時候，是數學和科學的資優生。
當他心情好時，他會很樂意地跟你談論希臘神話、愛因斯坦和牛頓的物理學以及Dr. Who影集。
他大部份的時候都是好好的，但如果不是，就要小心了！而且，無法預料什麼事會惹到他。
The morning of the pants incident, Michael continued to argue with me on the drive. He would occasionally apologize and seem remorseful. Right before we turned into his school parking lot, he said, “Look, Mom, I’m really sorry. Can I have video games back today?”
“No way,” I told him. “You cannot act the way you acted this morning and think you can get your electronic privileges back that quickly.”
就在褲子事件的早晨，我載麥克去上課的途中他持續跟我抱怨。
他偶爾會看似懊悔地向我道歉.
就在我的車正轉進他學校的停車場時，
他說”媽,妳聽著,我真的很抱歉.回家後我可以玩電動嗎?”
“不行”我對他說. ”你不要以為你今天早上做了那些事,還可以這麼快就能玩到電動.”
His face turned cold, and his eyes were full of calculated rage. “Then I’m going to kill myself,” he said. “I’m going to jump out of this car right now and kill myself.”
That was it. After the knife incident, I told him that if he ever said those words again, I would take him straight to the mental hospital, no ifs, ands, or buts. I did not respond, except to pull the car into the opposite lane, turning left instead of right.
他的表情轉為冷酷，且眼神充滿著熊熊怒火。
”好,我現在就去殺死我自己”他說.
“我現在馬上跳車殺了我自己”
就是那句話。
在刀子事件後我告訴過他，如果他再說那些話一次，我就馬上帶他去精神病院，沒有任何但書。
我沒回應他，但我把車向左迴轉調頭。
“Where are you taking me?” he said, suddenly worried. “Where are we going?”
“You know where we are going,” I replied.
“No! You can’t do that to me! You’re sending me to hell! You’re sending me straight to hell!”
I pulled up in front of the hospital, frantically waiving for one of the clinicians who happened to be standing outside. “Call the police,” I said. “Hurry.”
“你現在是帶我去哪？” “我們現在要去哪?” 他突然擔心了起來
“你知道我們要去哪.”我說.
“不!你不可以那樣對我! 你是要把我送到地獄去! 你是要直接把我打入地獄!”
我停在醫院的門口,猛烈向一位剛好站在那的醫護人員揮手.
“幫我叫警察來,快點!!”
When I asked my son’s social worker about my options, he said that the only thing I could do was to get Michael charged with a crime. “If he’s back in the system, they’ll create a paper trail,” he said. “That’s the only way you’re ever going to get anything done. No one will pay attention to you unless you’ve got charges.”
當我向我兒子的社工人員諮詢時，他說只有一個辦法是讓麥可犯罪。
“當他回到這個體制時，他們會開立一張證明”
“只有那樣你才能得到所有的幫忙. 你不犯法就不會有人注意你.”
(這段我不確定翻得對不對…)
But it seems like the United States is using prison as the solution of choice for mentally ill people.
看來美國將監獄當作一個解決精神病患者的方法.
With state-run treatment centers and hospitals shuttered, prison is now the last resort for the mentally ill
隨著國營治療中心及醫院的關閉,監獄是目前唯一一個能收容精神病患者的地方。
God help me. God help Michael. God help us all.
願上帝幫助我.願上帝幫助麥可.願上帝幫助我們這群人.
全站熱搜
留言列表
澳洲生活(2017~ (1)